Ramblings

When I first mentioned to my Master that I was thinking about starting a blog page, he showed little interest. These types of things aren't usually his cup of tea & he doesn't want the hassle of having to sign up for something to be able to read/make comments.
That changed though, when I explained that I wanted to blog about our relationship & my thoughts about being his submissive whore. He saw where it could be a very useful tool in helping me openly express myself while giving him further insight into the darkest corners of my mind.

Our relationship is anything but normal, even without the fact that we are a D/s couple. Master & I met online about 8 yrs. ago-We live 2,000 miles apart and are lucky if we see each other once or twice a year. We've been on again/off again too many times to count, but through it all there's still this incredible bond that always draws us back together. Much of this may be mindless dribble to some, but I do hope by doing this that I might perhaps meet others who lead the D/s lifestyle.
Master & I have talked before about how it would be nice to meet a couple with similar interests to socialize with and openly be ourselves around. I also feel this is a great way to keep the spark alive between us, especially because of the long distance. I like to think that many of my thoughts and memories will make my Master's beautiful cock hard when he reads them.
About me...
I'm 40 years old & even at a young age I had submissive tendencies. I thought about sex a LOT(still do!) and was masterbating by age 13/14.
I remember sneaking my aunt's Playgirl mags & reading the steamy stories while rubbing my clit. Other times, I fantasized about being forced down to my knees to suck a cock or tied up while some guy fucked me against my will.
I, of course, didn't share my perverted thoughts with others & was somewhat ashamed of myself for feeling the way I did.
By the way...My childhood was normal and I grew up in a good home with loving parents, so no weird psychological issues are the underlying cause of my love for deviant sex! ;)
I had brief relationships in my life, but never anything serious. I had a few sex partners that were decent enough, but I never really felt truly satisfied. Something was missing....I didn't ask them to spank me, call me dirty names or pull my hair because I didn't want to seem like a freak, but deep inside it's what I was screaming for them to do. I wanted/needed a man to control me and although I was ignorant to the D/s lifestyle, I soon learned much about it when I bought my first computer in 2000.
I frequented a certain chat program and it was there that I first discovered the wonderful, kinky world of BDSM--I can't describe how thrilled I was to find an online community of people who understood what I felt. It was like a door had been opened for me and I was eager to pass through it to learn all I could. I began reading everything I could find and chatted with Doms on occasion. Many were looking for a sub, but some were fine with just friendly chat.
The more I talked to others, the more I was sure that living life as a submissive was what would bring me true happiness. That began my journey looking for "Master Right". It wasn't long before I was playing online with Doms, hoping to find someone I was compatible with.
Many turned me off instantly by starting the chat off with "on your knees bitch" or insisting that I call them Master. I found those types ridiculous because in my mind, a truly good Dom would want to get to know a sub first and would slowly work to gain her trust before expecting full submission. I tried the whole cyber sex thing & it only left me frustrated--The talk was hot, but who wants to try & masterbate and type at the same time?! LOL
I did meet a few Doms who behaved respectfully and showed interest in me, but I just couldn't seem to find "The One" that I truly clicked with.
That is until, on a late night in September of '02, I met HIM..The wonderful, talented, handsome man that I proudly call my Master today.
This blog will be about us..Our past, present & future. I hope it makes him proud.

Dear Master-Thank You for all you've done for me. You've taught me so much and have always encouraged me to do my best. You've rightly punished me when I've deserved it, but you've never been critical of me. When you're pleased with me, you're quick to let me know. You make me smile, you make me feel alive, you make me feel beautiful...You make me happy!! I love You!
whore