Paddle me, Please!

Master has been reading my blog & says He's enjoyed reliving our memories through my eyes. I hope I can continue to make Him proud of me. While talking the other night, the subject of my first paddling came up.
I admitted that I didn't remember it nearly as well as I do others I've endured since then.
For instance, it was a day or so before I was to leave him and move back home..I was sad and he was just in a quiet, brooding mood. We weren't really talking a lot and I guess I was just desperate for him to show me some attention, so I asked Master to paddle me.
He looked at me with a mixture of annoyance and puzzlement and told me "no", but I refused to take it for an answer. I began to beg and plead, trying to rub his cock through his jeans. This only made him more annoyed and he told me to stop behaving this way, but still I persisted.
Finally, out of sheer frustration with me, he took the paddle, threw me over the bed & began to administer hard, quick blows to my ass.
I was crying out and had tears rolling down my eyes, but he just kept going. When he was finished, I asked to suck his cock, which was noticeably rock hard, but again he rejected me.
He says He felt it would have just given me the wrong idea & didn't want to make things tougher on us than they already were.
Although I was hurt by his rejection, I remember that when I looked at my ass later in the mirror, I felt a sort of bittersweet comfort in seeing the marks he'd left behind.

Then there was the last time we were together..I spent 2 weeks with Him and He kept my ass red the entire time I was there. Out of the blue, many times a day and purely for His pleasure, he would order me to bend over whatever piece of furniture,etc. He chose.
He would then spank and paddle my ass until I was almost screaming as I counted out the blows..my flesh felt so raw and tender, but it was so damned wonderful too! Because my ass is truly His, Master then took a permanent marker and wrote "MY ASS" on it and went over the words again, anytime they began to fade in the slightest bit.
It stung like hell when he would write on my wounded ass, but I was proud to be the slut whose ass He owns!
I have to add that any time after abusing it, my Master always makes sure to take care of "His ass" and rubs aloe lotion on my marks.
I am grateful for the fact that He has this tender side and it makes me feel that much more loved.
What's funny to me is how much I can fear and love the paddle at the same time. Master will usually start slow with some warm up swats, but at first, all I'm thinking is "ouch!". My body always deceives me though, and when Master checks to see if His pussy is wet, it always is.
What is it about the combination of pleasure/pain that I love? I'm truly not really sure, but it's definitely something I crave and I smile knowing that soon I'll be feeling it again.