Is it hot in here...?

A few years back when Master & I were staying at a hotel, I awoke in the middle of the night to find the room stifling hot--I recall throwing the blankets off and getting up to turn the heater down. It was dark in the room and I was bent over at the window, trying to read the temperature setting while mumbling to myself when suddenly, Master was behind me.
He bent me over and was inside of me in an instant, thrusting hard and fast while I held onto the window sill and moved my body with his. He grabbed my hair and pulled my head back, telling me what a dirty whore I was while continuing to ram his delicious cock deep inside me.
I was moaning loudly and squeezing Master's cock with my pussy and before long I was begging for permission to cum. It was pure raw, frenzied sex and it was fantastic!!
When it was over, Master returned to bed, leaving me weak kneed and panting at the window. I soon crawled in beside him and snuggled close..."Thank you Master, for letting your whore cum", I said. He chuckled and said "You're welcome baby" and soon, we both drifted happily off to sleep.
I think I need another fucking like that very soon!!!

Lesson Learned

Work and life in general have kept me from posting here as often as I'd like, but hopefully everything calms down soon. When I have time, I try to read some of the blog pages I'm following as well. So many of you are so talented with your writing and WOW--a lot of it is so freaking hot that I find my fingers inside my panties before I'm done reading!
It's the same when I'm writing about things Master & I have done, I just can't help myself...what can I can say-I'm a horny slut!

I mentioned before that Master has a stocking fetish..he requires that when I'm with him, I wear them at all times unless otherwise given permission. When the weather is terribly hot, he is understanding and will give me the option not to wear them, but I know it would still make him happy if I did.
When we are at home though, I am expected to wear them..and I should ALWAYS be wearing them to bed, even if I don't wear anything else! Master enjoys feeling my stockinged legs next to him and often in the night he will wrap his legs around mine or just caress them with his fingers.
Once when Master was here visiting, we went on a road trip and stayed in a few different hotels. Master went to sleep early on me one night & for whatever reason, I decided that since he was already asleep, it wouldn't matter that I wasn't wearing stockings.
Well, I remember waking up to his hands touching my legs and I immediately knew I'd made a big mistake. "Where are your stockings, whore?", he asked.
I then had to admit that I stupidly thought it wouldn't matter since he was already asleep. He got quiet..would not look at me or allow me to touch him--this, as I'm sure many of you can relate, was like a dagger in my heart.
If I recall correctly, I was then punished with the paddle and then Master just turned the tv on and ignored me. Later, he laid on the bed and stroked his cock, but I was not allowed to touch him. I begged him to fuck me, but he reached into the nightstand & pulled out a vibrator and threw it to me. I begged him to fuck me with it, but he refused...it was pure hell for me!
I could take the physical punishment, but to be given the cold shoulder made me miserable and teary eyed.
Later,Master called me to him and explained that for me to assume that breaking one of his rules "wouldn't matter", was an insult. He expects my obedience and was disapppointed that I was so thoughtless. When I apologized, Master took me into his arms and I was completely forgiven.
I still don't know why I decided to not wear them to bed that night, because I have come to love wearing stockings for my Man..they feel so nice against my skin and I feel sexy when I wear them. Either way, I definitely learned my lesson and unless I just want to torture myself, I'll never make that mistake again!
Have a good week A/all!
~M~

Another Year Older...

It's been a busy week for me. My birthday was last Monday; it was a good day & I got some nice cards/gifts plus spoke with Master twice by phone.
I wish I could have been with him to receive a proper birthday spanking--I'm sure he would have taken delight in using a variety of implements to administer 41 smacks to my ass. This is how I imagine it would be...
I'd be dressed properly for him, wearing a blouse, skirt and nice pair of stockings. He would bend me over, directing me to count them out while he gave me a few smacks over my skirt. Next the skirt would be lifted up and a few more smacks over my panties before they were then pulled down to expose my ass to him.
He would then move on to the hairbrush, giving a few smacks with it, before moving on to the crop and perhaps ending it with some delicious blows from the paddle. While I am still bent over, he would enter me from behind, slide his cock into my dripping wet pussy and fuck me until he came all over my warm, red ass. He would then probably make the rest of the day special and about me..kisses & soft touches, a nice dinner and lots of love making.
That's one of many things I love about my Master-even though I am his whore & his fucktoy, I'm also his friend and his lover. He respects me and makes sure I am taken care of..my happiness is important to him.
Even though sex plays a major role in our relationship, it's not the only thing.
We have spent many nice times just doing ordinary things, like lazing on the couch watching tv together or playing Scrabble(which he will admit that I usually always beat him at!). Even though he is in charge and I follow his rules, he does not see me as being beneath him. He just knows how and when to give me the discipline and guidance that I need.
I need to get a good night's sleep, so I'll close this for now. I hate to jinx myself, but please think positive thoughts for us, as it looks like I may soon be able to go be with him for good. When that day comes, I'll be the happiest submissive on the planet--I promise you that!
Have a good week A/all!

I love You Master!

Paddle me, Please!

Master has been reading my blog & says He's enjoyed reliving our memories through my eyes. I hope I can continue to make Him proud of me. While talking the other night, the subject of my first paddling came up.
I admitted that I didn't remember it nearly as well as I do others I've endured since then.
For instance, it was a day or so before I was to leave him and move back home..I was sad and he was just in a quiet, brooding mood. We weren't really talking a lot and I guess I was just desperate for him to show me some attention, so I asked Master to paddle me.
He looked at me with a mixture of annoyance and puzzlement and told me "no", but I refused to take it for an answer. I began to beg and plead, trying to rub his cock through his jeans. This only made him more annoyed and he told me to stop behaving this way, but still I persisted.
Finally, out of sheer frustration with me, he took the paddle, threw me over the bed & began to administer hard, quick blows to my ass.
I was crying out and had tears rolling down my eyes, but he just kept going. When he was finished, I asked to suck his cock, which was noticeably rock hard, but again he rejected me.
He says He felt it would have just given me the wrong idea & didn't want to make things tougher on us than they already were.
Although I was hurt by his rejection, I remember that when I looked at my ass later in the mirror, I felt a sort of bittersweet comfort in seeing the marks he'd left behind.

Then there was the last time we were together..I spent 2 weeks with Him and He kept my ass red the entire time I was there. Out of the blue, many times a day and purely for His pleasure, he would order me to bend over whatever piece of furniture,etc. He chose.
He would then spank and paddle my ass until I was almost screaming as I counted out the blows..my flesh felt so raw and tender, but it was so damned wonderful too! Because my ass is truly His, Master then took a permanent marker and wrote "MY ASS" on it and went over the words again, anytime they began to fade in the slightest bit.
It stung like hell when he would write on my wounded ass, but I was proud to be the slut whose ass He owns!
I have to add that any time after abusing it, my Master always makes sure to take care of "His ass" and rubs aloe lotion on my marks.
I am grateful for the fact that He has this tender side and it makes me feel that much more loved.
What's funny to me is how much I can fear and love the paddle at the same time. Master will usually start slow with some warm up swats, but at first, all I'm thinking is "ouch!". My body always deceives me though, and when Master checks to see if His pussy is wet, it always is.
What is it about the combination of pleasure/pain that I love? I'm truly not really sure, but it's definitely something I crave and I smile knowing that soon I'll be feeling it again.

Thanks!

To those of you who have been so complimentary on my writing...Thanks so much!
I've found that I am really enjoying it. I hope to have some free time this weekend to read through your blogs from the beginning--I find so many of them that interest me, so it may take a day or two!
Just a quick reply to FD from what he posted in my comments..I understand how it does seems odd that we just couldn't find jobs in the same city.
As for why Master couldn't just move here..He relocated from this state to take that job & he makes more money than I do! lol
The main reason though, was that I have a daughter who was still a minor at the time. She went to live with her father when I made that first move to be with Master and when I came back home, she moved back in with me.
She was at the age where I didn't want to just uproot her from her friends and school and drag her across the country for my own selfish reasons. So from then on, it was just a given that I wouldn't be moving anywhere until once she was out of school and more independent. She was also one of the main reasons that I came back home..I missed her terribly, and although she was well taken care of, I felt guilty for leaving her.
She's now a college student and although she does still rely on me for some things, my moving with Master can soon become a reality. Master even told me He would help me make sure she always has what she needs & we'll give her some extra financial support while she finishes school.
There are still a couple obstacles we have to overcome before I can be with him, but we are both hoping that it will just be a few short months. I'm tired of being without Him..I need that discipline in my life, I need His stern hand and His love!

Our first meeting

As I mentioned in my earlier post, there was a time when I did go to live with my Master for a while. Here is an excerpt from a journal I was keeping at the time:

"This is for real, after 3 yrs. we are really going to meet. I am finally going to be with my Master, going to live with him and be his whore. He's the most wonderful guy I've met and I truly hope we can make this work."

I can't even begin to describe what I was feeling on the trip there..excited, nervous, scared, happy..one big roller coaster of emotions, for sure.
He would be at work when I arrived, but arrangements were made for me to catch a cab to his place and he would arrive shortly after.
My heart was pounding loudly as I opened the door to his place..this was it-no turning back now.
The first thing I saw were the items he had laid out for me...beautiful stockings, garter belt, crop, vibrator & other "toys". On the wall there was a wooden paddle, with the words "For M" on it. There was a lovely card for me and in it he told me what I should be wearing when he arrived home.
In addition to these items, he had also thoughtfully bought shower gel and laid this out with a towel.
I was mesmerized as I sat at looked at that paddle..imagining just what kind of damage it would do to my ass. I felt the smoothness of the stockings and held the crop in my hands.
My fantasies were about to come true, I would soon be on my knees serving him.. being spanked, used and fucked for his pleasure.
Now I wondered--Could I really take it, when it came down to it? I was soon about to find out....

I had barely showered & was just starting to get dressed when I saw his car pull up. I was actually trying to get the snaps on the garter belt fastened and was having a terrible time. My heart was racing as he opened the door and stepped inside, but I went right to him and we hugged and kissed for a nice, long time.
He kept telling me that I looked pretty and he was happy I was finally there.
He was even better looking in person and I totally felt like the luckiest person alive.
He asked if I liked the items he'd left for me and I said that I did.
I then had to shyly admit that I was having trouble fastening the garter to the stockings.
Stockings are his major fetish and he requires that his whore wear them at all times we're together, unless given permission otherwise.
He instructed me to stand in front of him while he fastened them for me and I felt foolish and like a little girl, but also a bit aroused. Master told me later that he found it both amusing & arousing, as well.
After we spent a few more minutes talking, Master took my hand and led me to the end of the bed. He guided me to my knees and then took his cock out of his pants. I knew to wait until given permission, so I sat there with my hands on my knees as he gently rubbed it over my eyes, cheeks and lips.
I could feel it growing harder as he began to smack my face with it and I stuck my tongue out like a greedy whore.
Suddenly he shoved it in my mouth & began to fuck my throat hard. I had tears rolling down my face and saliva drooling out my mouth, but I kept sucking and could feel my cunt getting wet. When he came he shot it all over my face and then instructed me to go look at myself in the mirror. I stood at looked at my Master's cum dripping from my face and I smiled..I looked and felt like a dirty slut and I absolutely loved it.
When I returned to him, he took me over his knees and begin to spank my ass, first over my skirt, then over my panties & soon he had my panties down and was spanking me on my bare ass. I remember wiggling and crying out as each smack got a little harder. I was dizzy with lust, finally getting what I'd longed for..The pain felt so good and so right.
Master then abruptly stood me up and led me to the corner..panties down and skirt hiked up. I stood there, hearing him moving around the room behind me. He took a picture of my freshly spanked, red ass and just left me there for a bit before leading me to the bed and undressing me.
He fucked me hard, my stockinged feet on his chest & shoulders, smacking my face and telling me I was his dirty fucking whore. It was the most intense sex I'd ever had in my life and I came at least twice..He definitely left me breathless!

During my time there, I was happy in my submissive role. I enjoyed pleasing and serving my Master and he was truly the best lover I had ever had!!!
He respected me and demanded that I respect myself. He did not want a door mat for a sub, and encouraged me to speak my mind when I felt the need. It didn't mean I could change his mind, but I was always allowed an opinion. We also enjoyed each other intellectually as well and would spend many nights talking about everything under the sun..and we laughed a lot.
We did make some great memories while I was there,like the day I was waiting for him to come home from work, on my knees and dressed in lingerie and stockings. He had not instructed me to do this, so I hoped he would find it a nice surprise.
I remember having my head down, but raising my eyes to see him come through the door. He was whistling and just stopped mid whistle..walked over to me and took his cock out of his pants. What still makes me smile is the fact that by the time I took it in my mouth, he was already half hard. I was so proud that I had pleased him.

Alas though..me being there with him at that time just wasn't meant to be & for reasons that are too lengthy to get into-We decided I should go back home.
It was a sad time for me and I truly thought I would die of a broken heart, but I know now it was for the best.
Since that time, we've gotten together when we could..that unfortunately is not often enough, but we have made the best of it. The distance doesn't make it easy, but I wouldn't trade what I have with my Master for anything else. I will wait as long as it takes because once I'm back in his arms for good, I know it will have all been worth it!
I love You Master
Obey, Serve, Love, Worship & Be Grateful

Reminiscing

Just finished talking with Master on the phone..I was in a pretty shitty mood, but he always seems to make me feel better. I was also looking through old emails from Him and so I decided to post a few that make me smile.

Hello my sexy sweet whore,
Happy valentines day, I wish I could give you what you really need on this day....Anyway, thank you for the pantyhose pics, they were very good. I will be on yahoo for another hour or so, its 815 now, hope to see you there. Talk to you soon whore,
your Master

My whore, I am wanting right now to have you on all fours while I spank your ass with the leather on my crop. To hear the whooosh through the air as I swing it, then the smack! then the look of what sort of mark did it make, how much more can I put into this ass. There whore, I am giving you an insight into what your Master thinks...I am going to leave you heaving and panting.
your Master

My dearest whore ,
Happy Birthday to you my sweet. I thought of you all day and I hope this is a very festive time for you. Our plans will come together, as will we. Enjoy your day because today is all about you. Kisses and hugs are what you should have, so I shall recite a haiku.
Living submissive
Your strength is worthy of me
Future plans will be
I hope you had a great day whore, I love you too.
your Master

Happy Birthday my sweet whore. It would be an adventure today if you were here, 35 birthday spanks all over your sweet ass then a fucking of a lifetime with many an orgasm. I look forward to talking with you later so have a great day baby and Ill talk with you soon.
your Master

Well whore, I bought the ticket so your Master will be there at 1:35 on the 24th and your mouth will be around my cock at about 1:45. you can call me at that time tonight I should still be awake, I don't know what shape I will be in but you can call. Have you looked at the rules yet? I think I found some that I am going to start and use and since I am going to collar you when I get there I have a feeling that this visit will include some new things and some serious training. I'll talk to you later you dirty cum loving whore.

good morning whore,
I'm looking forward to hearing from you later today. It's been a long week and I can really use my whore tonight, even though it's pretty soon and I will be using you very roughly. I really have a good idea for when we first get to our first hotel, I think you will like it. I also keep thinking of us driving and watching you suck on the dildo with a plug in your ass and the egg in your pussy, skirt hiked up stockings on...mmm... mmmm.

I have the best Master on the planet..he gives me what I need and loves me for who I am. I'm a lucky whore!

The Distance

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Ramblings

When I first mentioned to my Master that I was thinking about starting a blog page, he showed little interest. These types of things aren't usually his cup of tea & he doesn't want the hassle of having to sign up for something to be able to read/make comments.
That changed though, when I explained that I wanted to blog about our relationship & my thoughts about being his submissive whore. He saw where it could be a very useful tool in helping me openly express myself while giving him further insight into the darkest corners of my mind.

Our relationship is anything but normal, even without the fact that we are a D/s couple. Master & I met online about 8 yrs. ago-We live 2,000 miles apart and are lucky if we see each other once or twice a year. We've been on again/off again too many times to count, but through it all there's still this incredible bond that always draws us back together. Much of this may be mindless dribble to some, but I do hope by doing this that I might perhaps meet others who lead the D/s lifestyle.
Master & I have talked before about how it would be nice to meet a couple with similar interests to socialize with and openly be ourselves around. I also feel this is a great way to keep the spark alive between us, especially because of the long distance. I like to think that many of my thoughts and memories will make my Master's beautiful cock hard when he reads them.
About me...
I'm 40 years old & even at a young age I had submissive tendencies. I thought about sex a LOT(still do!) and was masterbating by age 13/14.
I remember sneaking my aunt's Playgirl mags & reading the steamy stories while rubbing my clit. Other times, I fantasized about being forced down to my knees to suck a cock or tied up while some guy fucked me against my will.
I, of course, didn't share my perverted thoughts with others & was somewhat ashamed of myself for feeling the way I did.
By the way...My childhood was normal and I grew up in a good home with loving parents, so no weird psychological issues are the underlying cause of my love for deviant sex! ;)
I had brief relationships in my life, but never anything serious. I had a few sex partners that were decent enough, but I never really felt truly satisfied. Something was missing....I didn't ask them to spank me, call me dirty names or pull my hair because I didn't want to seem like a freak, but deep inside it's what I was screaming for them to do. I wanted/needed a man to control me and although I was ignorant to the D/s lifestyle, I soon learned much about it when I bought my first computer in 2000.
I frequented a certain chat program and it was there that I first discovered the wonderful, kinky world of BDSM--I can't describe how thrilled I was to find an online community of people who understood what I felt. It was like a door had been opened for me and I was eager to pass through it to learn all I could. I began reading everything I could find and chatted with Doms on occasion. Many were looking for a sub, but some were fine with just friendly chat.
The more I talked to others, the more I was sure that living life as a submissive was what would bring me true happiness. That began my journey looking for "Master Right". It wasn't long before I was playing online with Doms, hoping to find someone I was compatible with.
Many turned me off instantly by starting the chat off with "on your knees bitch" or insisting that I call them Master. I found those types ridiculous because in my mind, a truly good Dom would want to get to know a sub first and would slowly work to gain her trust before expecting full submission. I tried the whole cyber sex thing & it only left me frustrated--The talk was hot, but who wants to try & masterbate and type at the same time?! LOL
I did meet a few Doms who behaved respectfully and showed interest in me, but I just couldn't seem to find "The One" that I truly clicked with.
That is until, on a late night in September of '02, I met HIM..The wonderful, talented, handsome man that I proudly call my Master today.
This blog will be about us..Our past, present & future. I hope it makes him proud.

Dear Master-Thank You for all you've done for me. You've taught me so much and have always encouraged me to do my best. You've rightly punished me when I've deserved it, but you've never been critical of me. When you're pleased with me, you're quick to let me know. You make me smile, you make me feel alive, you make me feel beautiful...You make me happy!! I love You!
whore